Nicole's realization: seeing is not knowing and just knowing is not enough

It’s strange to think that our time here is quickly dwindling, and the countdown until we are back in the U.S is beginning. I remember that 3 months ago I was feeling like I had so much time to experience South Africa, and while I have done a lot, there is still so much that is left unexplored. There is still so much of this country that I have yet to see, cultures that I know nothing about, and ways of life that I still have no understanding of. In a way this realization, that one can spend 3 months in a country and still know so little, has put a few things into perspective for the future. I plan to, in my lifetime, travel as much of the globe as possible. I want to have been on every continent, backpack through Europe and South America, and see the Great Wall of China. While I want to travel to all these places and explore them, I’ve come to the conclusion that just because you’ve been to a place, doesn’t necessarily mean that you understand that place. Just because I’ve been to Cape Town, South Africa, doesn’t mean that I know how all people in South Africa act, think, or feel. It doesn’t mean that the vibe of Jo-Burg is the same as that of Cape Town (definitely isn’t by the way). The world is so big and it is impossible to say that you’ve been everywhere, seen everything, and know everyone. So while I do think it is important for us to become exposed to as much as we can in this lifetime, it is important to keep in mind that our grasp of understanding only goes as far as we reach.

On another note, it is a wonderful thing to know that the opportunities for learning, growing, and changing are endless. I know for a fact, just from being in Cape Town, that I have changed. I can pick out specific instances where my actions and thoughts have differed from how I would have acted or thought before I came on this trip. In a way its almost scary, and I’m somewhat anxious about how the “new” Nicole will be accepted back into life at home. Even more worrisome, is that I might not have the desire to fit in anymore. Not that it’s a worry to be different, but a worry that the life that I lived before, the sayings, jokes, and just plain ignorance that were such a part of my daily life, will no longer be acceptable to me. I constantly wonder how my friends will react if I try to inform them of things I have learned. Even more importantly, I wonder how my own family will react, and if they will understand? I know that no matter what happens, whether I choose to act on it or not, I have changed. Now that I have been opened up to this whole new world where racism, sexism, rape culture, and many more social issues are so often discussed, how can I go back to being my naïve and uninformed self? How can these issues that are so prevalent in society, and affect EVERY single person in the world, be put on the backburner? The answer is that they can’t. The only thing I have left 

Nicole: challenges proportional to knowledge & experience gained

I can’t believe that I just finished my last day of internship at Tafelsig Clinic. This really means that the end of the trip is fast approaching and I’m having mixed feelings about it. While it wasn’t the easiest of situations to be in, I really did enjoy working with the staff there, and I learned so much from them. I truly feel that the amount of challenges that I faced are proportional to the amount of knowledge and experience that I gained while working at Tafelsig. One of the first challenges I faced was that of language barrier. Mostly everyone that works at Tafelsig, and the patients themselves are Coloured. Most of them, as a result, speak Afrikaans as their first language. It was definitely intimidating at first to be thrown into a place where I could barely understand people with their accents when they were speaking English, let alone when they were speaking a language that I knew nothing of.

Another challenge that I faced was finding a place that was suitable for me to be working, and doing something that I felt was useful.  I came into this program with a certification in Phlebotomy, so I had hoped that I would be able to do something along those lines at the clinic. My expectations were more than met. While the challenges were many, I also had many opportunities to learn from Tafelsig Clinic. Because of the amount of people that come in daily, (over 500 per day fyi), I was able to be exposed to a lot of things that normally I would not see until graduate school in the U.S. With all the stuff that I was doing, mostly in the Emergency/Treatment room, I really felt that I was helping relieve the stress of the staff members,, just by doing the small monotonous things, so the nurses could focus on the more severe Emergency cases. It was so nice to hear the woman that I spend most of my time with say that she didn’t know what she was going to do without me now that I’m leaving. She had also said that she hated Thursdays and Fridays, because those were the two days that I was unable to come in and help her. Hearing this from her made me feel as though I actually made a difference during my time here, and even if it just in some small way that I was able to help, its good enough for me. Another part of the job that was rewarding was when I was able to do something for a patient and they truly appreciated what I did for them. Something as simple as grabbing a blanket for someone who had been waiting a long time for an ambulance to come, or grabbing a cup for someone to sip on some water while they were waiting to be seen by the doctor.

I have learned so much from the nurses that I worked with and in turn I hope that I was of some assistance to them.  I learned a lot about myself, and what I am capable of doing, and I also learned a lot that is related to the health care field. Through endless discussions with the people that I worked with I was able to learn about their pasts and how they lived during the years of Apartheid, which is so interesting to learn about from someone who actually experienced it. During my last day I talked with one of the staff members, a lady named Iris who I had become closer with during my time at Tafelsig. She told me that she was truly going to miss me, and that she had really enjoyed our conversations and learning about my life and sharing her life story with me. It was so wonderful to hear such nice things from someone that I had come to respect so deeply. I remember when I first arrived at the clinic she would only speak Afrikaans, probably because she wasn’t as comfortable with her English. But our relationship grew to the point where even if I was sitting at the table during tea and lunch with a big group of people all speaking Afrikaans, she would make a point to speak English so that I could have some idea of what the conversation was about. Iris isn’t the only person at Tafelsig that I got to know on a more personal level, but there is just not enough time or space to write about all of them. Overall my experience was amazing, and I will forever remember my time at Tafelsig, the people I met, and the things I learned.

Nicole, lesson learned

Last weekend I almost died.

Okay, not really but being my dramatic self that’s the way I like to put it. Last weekend a group of 6 of us (myself included) decided that we wanted to finally hike the Twelve Apostles. I knew in advance that the hike was not going to be easy, and I knew that it was going to take a long time, but it was something on my list of things to do before leaving Cape Town. If I had it in my mind that the hike was going to be difficult, it thought wasn’t anywhere near matched to how hard the climb actually was. The group of us set out before seven in the morning to start our ascent up a trail called Diagonal. It was extremely steep and had a very rocky path. However, just as expected. once we reached the top the view was amazing! There were valleys mountain peaks all around us, and we still had an amazing view of the ocean beaches that were far below us. However, as our hike continued, the realization that the beauty of the mountains was comparable to their danger smacked us in the face. We ended up getting lost on one of the last peaks of the mountain range, (this is after about 7 hours of hiking mind you) with only about 500 mls of water and one peanut butter sandwich leftover. Since we were desperate to start getting down the mountain before dark, we made an incorrect turn onto a “path” that wasn’t really a path at all, but rather was an INCREDIBLY steep rockslide type of ravine. Once we realized we had to manage to crawl back up and back track, I started to lose it. My entire body was exhausted, and I was so frustrated by our predicament that I was on the brink of tears. Eventually however, by some stroke of luck, after blindly pushing our way through what seemed like endless miles of pricker bushes and spiny plants, we managed to find a path that led down the mountain. (the very same path that we had been attempting to find for the past 2 hours) Needless to say, I have never been so excited to see a paved road in my entire life!! Even more of a comfort was when Ben came to the rescue with Energade and Jungle Bars. I definitely learned a lot from the experience though. I’ve never felt myself be so desperate to do something that I didn’t know if I could. I literally felt like I was trapped on that mountain, and that the only way I was going to get off would be in a helicopter. Luckily for us though, we managed to find our way. But I will make sure that next time I plan to go on a hike as long as this one, that I will have a map and a enough water and food to feed a small army.

Nicole's thoughtful analogy

It would suck to be an Impala. Think about it, not only are you at the bottom of the food chain, and constantly have to watch your back, but you’re also the animal that nobody cares about, because there are so many of you. At Kruger, the Safari truck didn’t even bother to stop when it would come across a herd of the small deer, but instead would zoom on past, in the hopes of finding a more ‘interesting’ animal, ones that would be “worth” stopping for.  

I can’t help but wonder if the Impala is similar to many of the people who live in South Africa. I can’t help but think that the people who live in Khayelitsha or Tafelsig, and I’m sure many of the other informal settlements and townships, are like the Impala. 

They are numerous in number, and at the bottom of the socio-economic classes. During Apartheid, they were pushed to the outskirts of the city, and out of they way to fend for themselves. It’s almost as if these people are left on the outside of the city so that they are out of view. After all.. “Out of sight, out of mind” is how the saying goes. Even after being in South Africa for a little over two months, it still amazes me, the effects of Apartheid that are still so prevalent in today’s society. There is still so much disparity between the whites, Coloureds, and blacks, especially in Cape Town. During a lull at my internship today, I had a chance to talk with one of the nurses about my stay in South Africa. She was asking me how I liked it and what I thought about certain things. Somehow the conversation eventually steered to where she lived and where she had come from. I learned that, while she had spent the last couple decades in an area of the Mitchells Plain Township, she has originally come from District Six, and was part of one of the first groups of people to be forcibly removed from their homes. She told me how she was involved in “The Struggle” and had risked becoming imprisoned for the part she had played in her workings against the National Party. It was amazing to stand in front of this woman and listen to her story. It’s crazy to think that a person who looks so normal, an elderly nurse, a woman, and a Coloured person, had not only survived through such a struggle in her lifetime, but had actually been an active part, and had fought for her rights and freedoms. What’s even more ridiculous is that I was there to listen to her story, and that she was willing to share it with me. I felt so connected to a part of history, a history that really has no place for me as an American, but as a human being is important that I understand. It is important that people around the world realize that there are many decisions from our pasts that have had a huge impact on our present and will continue to have an impact on us in the future. A regime cannot simply be overthrown and everything be fixed in a snap. It is a slow process to heal, and this country still very evidently has gaping wounds.

Nicole embracing the positive changes

This morning I woke up early. I was up even before the bird with the cackling caw that seems to find it humorous to fly by my window as loudly as possible every morning. It was peaceful. No alarm to wake up to, and the rest of the house was asleep. I found the motivation within myself to get some chores out of the way so that the rest of the day could be free. I’m starting to think about the week that lies ahead and how we will be traveling tomorrow to Johannesburg, and from there to Kruger National Park. While I am so excited for the upcoming adventures, I think I am more excited about the past ones.

You see, since I have been here in Cape Town, I have experienced so many new things, met so many new people, and seen so many new places. It is impossible for these experiences, people and places, not to leave some part of themselves with me. Because of these things, and the new knowledge I have acquired since I’ve been here, it is clear to even my own self, that I have changed in these few weeks I’ve spent in this beautiful place. I’m sure that most people would ask me to describe how I think I’ve changed, but honestly, I don’t have a real answer to that question.

In the dictionary, Change is defined as “making the form, nature, content, and FUTURE COURSE (of something), different from what it is or from what it would be if left alone.” This is true for myself I hope. I hope these experiences that I’ve had, stories I’ve heard, and events I’ve witnessed have had a big enough impact on me, that they have changed the course of my future. I think that change is something that happens under the radar, possibly in slow gradual steps or maybe in an instant. Either way, I believe that change is something that has happened to me, and I believe it has happened in a positive way.

There are so many things I’ve learned here, that before I was never aware of, or had little knowledge about. We’ve had numerous discussions on Human Rights, Sex vs Gender, Politics, Equality for Women, etc. All these issues are so prevalent in today’s society and yet, it seems that only a small portion of the population takes an interest in these topics, when really they affect EVERYONE. I know that I have changed in some small way, because there is now a seed that has been planted inside my head, and a fire that has started to kindle in my heart. As cliché as it sounds, it’s the truth. I have no other way to describe it. It’s a feeling of yearning, of passion, of hope. And while this feeling is wonderful, it also scares me. It scares me to know that I am starting to become more aware of the world around me, and it scares me that there is so much in it that I don’t like; things I want to Change. It’s Overwhelming.

There is SO much to do and so many people to meet, and yet it seems, there are so many boundaries before I can get to a point where I can feel like I make a difference. I cannot lie, it would be easier to just go home, and simply look back on this experience as just that, an experience in my past. But that would be such a shame and a waste of the fire that has started to burn within me. This is Life, and I’m so young and full of energy, I have so many years ahead of me, to be able to do many things that will be worthwhile to others and myself. So much time to make a Change.  

Nicole on never a dull moment

Tom, Nicole, Teddy, Kayla, Terri, Julian

It’s strange to think that I have already been in South Africa for over a month. Looking back I can remember feeling that three and a half months in a foreign country seemed like an extremely long time. But now that I’ve been here, I’ve realized how quickly the time actually passes. I feel like I’ve been busy all the time, always doing different things. This in part stems from the fact that there is such a large group of us that are living together. Because we each have different interests we therefore come up with different things that we personally would find interesting to do. From there, other people bandwagon on to the idea, and next thing you know you have over twenty American students taking over restaurants, clubs, and any other venue that we happen to pop into.   

This past weekend was especially fun because it was so packed with different things to do. On Saturday I got a chance to go to the Old Biscuit Mill, which was a big outdoor market, with a wide variety of different foods. All I have to say about that experience is that I definitely plan to go again sometime in the near future because the crepes that I had were fantastic! After that we headed over to the stadium that was built for the world cup and participated in the Gay Pride Parade. It was a really cool experience to be around a group of people that are normally a minority, and are so discriminated against from so many people. And yet there were so many people in great spirits being proud of who they truly are. And everyone there was so welcoming and so excited that we were there to experience this day and celebrate with them. I thought it was really cool to listen to the speaker who had come all the way from San Francisco and to listen to her talk about things that affect the “Rainbow People” I thought it was really appropriate that we were in South Africa “ the Rainbow Nation” for the Gay Pride Parade. After we spent some time inside the stadium and listening to the speaker and various music artists, we headed over to District 6 for a Krumping and hip hop show that we had heard about from Vernon. The theatre was actually inside a small chapel that was on street in District 6. When the cab driver dropped us off he told us about how it used to be the area that so many people lived in but during Apartheid were uprooted from their homes and relocated to the Cape Flats.

It was really interesting to see, that once we were inside this small chapel, the talent coming from the people who were performing was unbelievable. The moves that these young people were doing looked like something that I had only seen on TV or in the movies. It was awesome to be so close and to see local young people with so much talent that don’t necessarily come form the best of places. A couple kids did raps and in them you could hear about what it meant to be Coloured and coming from a township in Mitchells Plain. It’s clear that coming from these areas definitely has an effect on the way these kids live, and hopefully through their dancing they are able to stay out of trouble and remain on the right track to a successful future.

Sunday was another day that was filled to the brim with things to do. We started off the morning early with a trip to Mzoli’s. Mzoli’s is a restaurant in Gugulethu that is Braai style cooking. Everyone just kind of hangs around all day to socialize and dance while the food is being prepared. After we finished up at Mzoli’s our group headed to Kirstenbosch Garden’s for a Goldfish Concert. This was something really different and exciting for me because I’ve never really listened to trance, electro or techno music, and this was really similar to those genres. Also the fact that we were able to be outside enjoying the beautiful weather and view of Table Mountain in the background was awesome. All in all it was a very busy but very successful weekend!  

Nicole on acknowledging and respecting differing perspectives

Nicole (far right) on Human Rights Training weekend

This past weekend we had the Human Rights training experience. In the time that we spent at the olive farm there is so much that I learned about human rights and the way that people work together that it is overwhelming. It is not even that everything I learned was necessarily taught. Rather, what I learned form the most was watching the ways that different people from different places interacted with each other. This weekend was really cool because it allowed people from South Africa, Zimbabwe, DRC, and Namibia, to interact with American students. We had to do many projects and split into many groups and come together and make decisions that would benefit us all and incorporate all of our ideas without making anyone feel like they’re ideas weren’t making a contribution. From this trip, where there was just over 50 people that had to work together, it really put it into perspective just how difficult it must be for any decision, ANYWHERE in the world to be made. It took our small group of 8 people hours of discussions to try to come to agreements on certain issues and even still we didn’t all agree with the final outcome of our presentations. It just further enforces the idea that everyone has different experiences in their lifetimes. These different experiences forces us to have different opinions, viewpoints and perspectives. Just because we disagree with someone else’s beliefs doesn’t necessarily make either one of us wrong. It just makes us different. It’s just important for everyone to understand that there are going to be these differences when you interact with other people. And while you don’t have to agree with them it is important to acknowledge their viewpoint.

"You and I both see the world through a different lens, with different perspectives. 

We have different viewpoints and see different things.

 But it is just that, Different. Your perspective is no better or worse than mine."

Nicole on trying new things/outdoorsy extremeness!

So at this point Orientation is over and it is now time to use all the tools and knowledge we have acquired to set out on adventures of our own. In the past weeks we have learned how to use public transportation systems, such as the Jammie, minibuses and train. We have also been to every which corner of the city to explore different areas and become accustomed to the Capetonian culture, and in a way, to learn how to blend in as much as possible. (Although that can be rather difficult with group of twenty three very loud and excited American college students) In this past week alone there has been so much that has happened, from starting our internships to karaoke night. But since I cant properly explain everything that has happened, I want to focus on the adventures that I’ve experienced in the past two days. On Friday, a group of us decided to go Muizenberg Beach. We set out early in the day and had to take the train to get there. It was a little nerve racking that the at each stop there wasn’t an announcement as to where we were, so we had to pay close attention to how many times the train had stopped in order to make sure we didn’t miss our destination. Once we were at the beach, it was even crazier to see that there was a system in order to warn people about the sharks that could possibly be lurking in the water close by. A White flag is bad, and means that you shouldn I’t be in the water, and a Red Flag means that its okay to be in the water ( a little backwards if you ask me, considering red is usually seen as a sign of danger??) Anyways, once we were there,  a few of us decided to try to surf. SUCH a great decision! 

Nicole & Terri

It was SO much fun, and honestly, the thought that there could possibly be a great white shark close by, added to the experience.. Although I was exhausted by the end of the day, I will not be surprised if surfing becomes part of my weekly routine! To add to my weekend of trying new things/outdoorsy extremeness, Saturday morning we set out to hike Table Mountain. It had been decided that we would start our hike in Kirstenbosch Gardens and go up Skeleton Gorge to get to the top of the mountain. We would then walk the ridge of the mountain to get to the other side (by the Cable Car) and hike down the easier and more touristy trail. I cannot even explain how difficult this climb was, and I would be lying if I said there weren’t times in which I seriously doubted if I would be able to make it. The trail we had chosen, although one of the most scenic trails, it was also one of the most difficult trails to climb. I have to say that for those of us who aren’t experienced hikers, (myself included) at times the trail was a bit overwhelming and daunting. But I’m proud to say that everyone that set out on the 5 hour hike made it to the top and back down safely. It was such a sense of accomplishment, and honestly I believe it was a really good team building experience, there were times when each of us needed a little extra motivation, and it was nice to see that there was always someone willing to step up to the plate and offer encouragement. The experience really taught me a lot about the people with whom I live and spend my time with, every day while I’m here. I learned a lot about myself as well, I learned that I am able to push myself past a point of comfort, and still come out with a positive attitude. Overall the experience was wonderful, although waking up the next morning with my legs still shaking from the climb tells me that my body may not be as happy with my accomplishment as my mind is!  

Nicole on the oceans of Cape Town

I've come to find that Cape Town is a city of oceans. It is surrounded on one side by the Atlantic Ocean, an ocean that my entire life I have spent so much time swimming, wading, and playing in, but in a place so far away and so different from here. Being on this side of the Atlantic, definitely gives me a different perspective. Cape Town is also a city surrounded by an Ocean of Mountains. Towering over the city is the iconic Table Mountain, which I have come to appreciate, not just for its beauty, but for it's ability to ease me when I find myself in unfamiliar territory. It is as if its presence is to protect and guide those who might have lost their way. Yet another Ocean that surrounds this place is the Ocean of Poverty that lies on the outskirts of the city. This ocean is made up of townships, make-shift "housing", and people that live in conditions that I could have never in my wildest dreams imagined. It's amazing how the city takes completely separate forms, depending on which ocean you spend your day in. However, although all these Oceans are large and great, there is another ocean that is deeper and more powerful than all the others combined; an Ocean of Hope. Hope; that fills the hearts and souls of all the people that live in Cape Town. Although each life may be uniquely different, when it comes to power, race, or wealth; each Capetonian is equal in the fact that they all call this City of Oceans home. I've never before witnessed such hope for the future, especially from people who, from my eyes, seem to have so little to look forward to. There is definitely a lesson to be learned from this place, and I consider myself so blessed to be here, to witness and experience the power of Cape Town first hand.

Nicole: happy to have companions on this journey

Realizing that I’m actually going to South Africa for a semester took a while to sink in, but now that this opportunity has finally become a reality I cannot be more excited! This is something that I’ve been hoping to do for a while, and I couldn’t have lucked out more than to set out on this adventure with people that are just as thrilled as I am about the experience that awaits us. I really cannot pinpoint what it is that I’m looking forward to the most because there is just SO much that I want to do/see once I’m in Cape Town. It’s a bit stressful right now trying to get everything together in preparation of our departure: passports, visas, banking etc., but it’s comforting to know that I’m not alone and there are other people that are going through that exact same process. Now that we’ve gotten to know each other a little better, we’ll be able to help each other along the way. January can’t come soon enough!!