As from the poem I quoted in my last post, love has opened up my consciousness to what it means to sincerely enjoy what life offers with every moment. Being in South Africa has made me really think about all the love that I have in my life and that exists in this world – and I have gained such a deeper appreciation for every person who has been involved in bringing this to light for me. First, I know I’ve spoken about the beautiful spirit of the people in Cape Town before, but the same people continue to warm me as do the strangers I meet on a daily basis – all of the little things done evoke a happiness in me that makes me a better me. I cherish the times when I catch a co-worker dancing and singing to silence as he waits for the kettle to boil in the staff kitchen or when another hands me a list of Xhosa proverbs he typed up for me to enjoy, or when we all sit at a staff meeting and laugh together over 5 rand muffins. When the minibus caller starts dancing and singing to blasting techno music as another comes out from the convenience store with two bottles of soda and a handful of straws for all of us to share I was as touched as I was when that outspoken woman joined our minibus ride, offering cake to the driver and a light spirit to the passengers in exchange for being dropped off right at her doorstep. I think about all of the inspiring students I’ve met, too, who have a grown up in a world so different and harder than mine and yet powerfully turn that experience into the strength needed to improve their communities while also having fun. Everyone on my program, too, we are all sharing in and learning from this experience and becoming more awakened versions of ourselves, which has been so fulfilling. There are so many other little acts of kindness and warmth that I have experienced through these and many other people since being here, and all of it has transformed who I am forever.
Being here has also made me honestly realize all the love and support from back home, too. I have many family members and friends who are so sincerely excited to hear about every detail of my experience and how it’s affecting me. Each time one of my grandmothers asks me how I am doing and what I am learning I melt similarly as to when my parents tell me how much they love and miss me or one of my uncles tells me to stay safe and be smart and when my siblings and cousins give me sincere words of encouragement. It’s the same care I feel when the beautiful man I am currently and very deeply love with elatedly asks to hear about what I’ve been up to. However, as much as I am feeling the love more than ever, being in Cape Town has made me feel the other side of the dichotomy more than ever, too, and how hate and greed still continue to plague the world, unfairly obstructing so many from being able to experience this love of humanity I am so fortunate to enjoy.
About six weeks into my time here, I was sitting in on one of the afterschool programs SAEP holds for students at a senior secondary school. Each student came to the front of the class to explain the bag she or he decorated with various pictures and words that represented themselves. I was so inspired by hearing these learners, they are so aware of themselves and have some of the biggest dreams I’ve ever heard – becoming doctors, engineers, entertainers; everything and anything imaginable they want to be. I was overcome with joy over these aspirations until the dark cloud of reality quickly overcast the brightness. The truth is, many, if not all, of the dreams of these students will never be attained, and the most grimacing part about it is that it comes at no fault of their own. Their schools are severely underfunded, the work of all involved is unappreciated, and the creative, beautiful ideas of these students are neglected. And all I could do in that moment was ask myself why? I was sitting in a classroom with rickety chairs, broken desks, and little evidence of any of educational resources I remember having in the classrooms I was in when I was that age – but all that is insignificant to knowing that in that same classroom were some of the most inspirational people I have ever encountered, but soon, if not already, they will be broken, too. Lack of education, necessities and access to opportunity forms the brick wall of social and institutional oppression that will stop these students, and billions of people worldwide, from accomplishing their dreams. With all the happiness and joy I have for life, I just cannot handle this reality and no one else should, either, but so many do and that’s why our world is ridden with injustice and inequality. I explored the Philippi and Nyanga townships recently with a friend from work, and the same reality sunk into me as I walked around and then talked at a shebeen with two locals, who were so enthusiastic about changing the world, but have been stuck doing nothing since graduating secondary school. It was easy for me to say to them, “Well just go out and do it! Find something!” and as much I do believe in making what you want for yourself, I cannot understand the difficulties they face in trying to do so – would I be able to do it if I lived in their shoes? I believe enough in myself to say yes, but that is very much a product of my experiences, so, really, I don’t know – and it scares me to say that because that means that things may not get better soon.
On my way to volunteer at a church in Nyanga, I talked to two little boys, each no older than five years old. I greeted them with a smile and a “Molo!” and they returned the gesture and asked my name, we exchanged them and I told one that I really liked his bracelet. As I said bye and turned to walk away, I heard a “Here!” and looked back to see the boy holding his bracelet out to me and saying “You can have it!” with the biggest, sincerest grin on his face. I know it’s only a bracelet, but the genuineness that came out of such a young heart moved me so deeply. And it is this genuine love from human to human that oppressive systems break. I will cherish the bracelet forever and each time I look at it I will hope that his spirit has not been broken. I have to believe that this love will prevail and things will get better for everyone. Any one striving for social justice needs to focus on hope while recognizing these harsh realities because that is the only way that some day, all of our dreams will be achieved.
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