Susie facing fears, finding peace

I am not the biggest fan of heights. I would not consider myself horribly phobic, but I definitely feel some uneasiness when I am on a higher ground than normal. There is a bridge near the UConn campus that my friends and I jump off of when it is warm out; it is only about a fifteen feet drop but I usually stand nervously at the top for at least ten minutes before I can jump in. This past weekend, we took a long bus ride to Plettenberg Bay, South Africa where a lot of us were able to face our fears. While standing on the platform of Bloukrans Bridge, the world’s highest commercial bungee jump, there was the most positive and upbeat energy before we all took the plunge. Some of my friends were dancing and psyching themselves up with the amazing bungee crew while others struggled with their fears through tears and reassurance. I like to think I was a part of both groups; I knew I was not going to get hurt, but I was still facing something I had never experienced before. When it was my turn to jump, I must admit that I had a moment of hysterically crying. I am not sure what brought on my emotions but after a few seconds I simply kept thinking to myself that there is no point in being afraid: I was going to jump and hopefully it would all work out.

As cliché as it probably sounds, we need to take risks. I am not talking about facing danger or acting completely irrationally, but about challenging oneself to really grow as a person. As my time in South Africa is quickly coming to an end, I have been trying to see if I have actually changed as a person. I think about myself as a nervous student last semester who struggled with the decision on whether or not to study abroad at all, and I see that angst as a challenge I overcame. I see the seventeen amazing people I am living with and how a lot of us have learned to cooperate in somewhat smaller corners as a test we all passed with flying colors. I observed when many of us came home from a long day at our internships, completely drained from feeling so helpless in a world where so many things seem to be cruel, only to wake up to repeat it again. I may sound like I am diving way too deeply into some metaphor for merely jumping off a bridge, but I feel like it may have meant a lot more to many of us. Seconds after the jump, I experienced a complete silence; I could not hear the blaring music or cheers from the bridge, the ocean waves crashing nearby, or the crew member coming to help pull me back up the bridge. It was a peaceful sensation that many other people said they felt after the bungee jump; we had all taken a chance and nobody hit the ground.